"I don't Believe in Love"

I recently heard someone say, "I don't believe in love."  Really?  You don't believe in love?  Well unbeliever, this will be my attempt to show you that love is indeed real, and that someday you will succumb to it's unforgiving grip that has blessed so many lives since the glorious dawn of time itself.  "...and be not faithless, but believing." Do you know who said that?  Jesus did. Jesus wants you to believe.  That should be argument enough, but let me continue.  

How about we start with more scripture.  Yes, thats right, there are actually scriptures about the reality of love.  D&C 42:22 says, "Thou shalt love thy wife (or husband) with all thy heart..."  I don't know about you, but when a scripture starts out with "Thou shalt...", I am under the assumption that it's a total commandment.  Therefore, love is a commandment!  A commandment just like the word of wisdom!  You follow that without even thinking.  Why?  Because it's a commandment.  You better believe that thou shalt love! 

As I sit here and wonder why you would not believe in love, it makes me ponder a few things about love itself.  The first I'd like to address is what is love.  How would I define love?  This is such a tricky definition and it definitely varies from person to person.  One of my favorite quotes about love is from my main man Plato.  He once said, "Love is a serious mental desease."  There cannot be a more true statement.  Not to say that love is terrible and undesirable.  Love can be awesome, but it can also drive you insane.  But isn't that kinda the point.  Love isn't supposed to be about knowing there is one specific person sitting somewhere on a park bench waiting for you to wander over and accidentally punch them in the face, and you look at each other and suddenly you just know! No! Love is more than that.  Love is a choice.  Love isn't finding that perfect person, but more about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.  Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.  It is my opinion that we as humans are capable and encouraged to find another human who we are compatible with and choose to love them.  If someone you love does something wrong, you forgive them.  Not because they are the only one you could ever forgive because it is written in the stars and in your horoscope on the day you met them.  You forgive them because you choose to love them!  Love drives you insane because when you love someone, they are all you think about.  Their life consumes your every thought.  You live to please them, and by putting your own life second, you give up your freedom, your dreams, your life, and that is hard.  It is hard but worth it, because along with that new found vulnerability comes new found life, luster, and happiness that otherwise could not exist.  Let's let my pals Ewan and Nicole explain love for a minute.

Did you hear that?  All you need is love!  What are you afraid of?  1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear."  I don't know how to put it better than actual scripture telling you there is nothing to fear in love.  In fact, love casteth out fear.  So what are you supposed to do if you are afraid of love?  You are supposed to love silly.  Like the Nike people say, "Just do it!"  


Here is why love is so important.  Are you ready?  This is my point.  Right here.  Love evokes emotion.  Love has been the subject of a countless number of songs, books, and stories.  Really good ones that are good because everyone can relate to love, or love lost, or dreams of love.  Explain to me this, if you can.  How can you hate someone, yet know they will never leave you?  Because of love.  Why does it hurt to see someone connecting with another person you may care about?  Because of love.  Why is it possible to get a name or a face stuck in your head like your favorite song?  Because of love.  Why do you cry at the end of "The Last Song" when the girl with the weird mouth sees the hot guy standing on the beach outside her dead dad's house?  Because of love!  Don't tell me you don't believe in love when you are wrapped in it's tentacles every day of your life.  So I ask you:  Is love awesome?  You better believe it!  Is love hard?  Undeniably yes.  Is love worth it?  Absolutely affirmative.  Do I believe in love?  Hell no!  It's way too complicated.  But don't let me sway you. I've never been in love.  

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away."

I'm Baaaaaack!

Enjoy this little tidbit please. If any of you would like to throw me a surprise party, that would be sweet. I love surprise parties!

I'm with Coco.

Let me start by saying I'm sticking by my man Conan's side till the end. Jay Leno is a Lamo and is screwing Conan taking his show back. Jay is no longer a classy man in my book. I wish my boy Conan the best as he ventures out wherever he goes.

Now, there was some speculation, mostly by my mother, that my last post was somewhat of a suicide note. This cannot be farther from the truth. True, I did vent a little frustration in my last post, but frustration is part of life right? And I gotta express myself somehow. That's what my blog is for sillies.

Life is stressful. School started and it's not awesome. I'm getting tired of classes and not getting out of class what I expect. I'm surviving, but barely. Physics is kicking my butt. But I have a plan. As part of Operation LGN, I've included goals of a well rounded life. I'm going to get in bed earlier, and get out of bed earlier too. I need to get up, exercise, and get to work. No more Mr. Lazypants. It's really hard so far. But I figure baby steps till you can learn how to run right? I've also included goals to get to the temple often, and get back on track with my scripture studies. I think this will be helpful to get my life more balanced and in order, therefore making me happier and able to make better decisions.

I'm currently obsessed with the song "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train. See it here.

Sleep...I wish.

Sometimes at night I have trouble sleeping. Usually its not even that anything is wrong, or I'm in pain or something, sometimes I just don't feel like sleeping. Sometimes, like tonight, I just have so much on my mind I can't get my brain to calm down enough to sleep. Lately I feel like nothing in my life is going the way I want it to. School sucks. If college is supposed to prepare me for the real world, how come it just makes me feel stupid most of the time. Granted I know there are things I can do to probably make it easier for me, but I still don't know what those things are. If anyone can tell me how to fix it, please share. I welcome your suggestions, no matter how stupid and wrong they are. I'm sick of studying for exams, feeling good about what I've studied, then doing terrible on the test. I'm sick of worrying about grades and keeping up with all the "smart kids". I'm sick of worrying about dental school, and that I may not be good enough. I'm sick of life. I'm sick of girls. Why do they have to be so frustrating? They don't know what they want, and when they do they don't tell you. Am I supposed to read your mind? Sorry, not possible sweetheart. Tell me what you want me to do! I'm sick of girls lying to me. Telling me one thing for this reason or that, then a week later changing their mind. I'm sick of trying to open up to people, then having them only pretend they care. Is it too much to ask to have someone to share my life with? It must be because every time I try, it doesn't work. I'm sick of trying to be a good person, and having it mean nothing to anyone but me. No more Mr. Nice-Guy world. You have brought this upon yourself.

Life in the Fast Lane

Blogging is hard. I think it's just hard to find time between all my crap that happens everyday to sit and write. It's funny that I say that right now because I just gave a speech recently about the importance of keeping a journal, and one of my points was that we all have different excuses why we don't keep a journal. One excuse I talked about was how we often say we don't have time to write. My solution was blogging. So here I am avoiding my blogging because I don't have time when really it's supposed to be helping with allowing me the time I need to write. In the near future I will post the link so you can see my speech online. I wish I could be more like my friend Janet. She is such a great blogger. I like reading her blog because it is simply everyday thoughts directly from her head. No holding back. That's what blogging is about I'm realizing, just writing. Writing about life, love, happiness, sorrow, good, bad, questions, and answers. I want to do much much better at blogging, and be more like Janet.

A lot has happened lately in my life. Since I've written last, Thanksgiving happened. It was so nice to go home for a few days and hand with my family. It was awesome because my cousin Gus was there. I hadn't seen him for almost 5 years! It was nice to catch up with him. Thanksgiving I ate way too much of course. Who doesn't? I'm not much of an eater in the first place, but I like to make an exception on Thanksgiving. We saw the movie "The Blind Side" Thanksgiving night. It was so good! I love Sandra Bullock and she did a great job. I also love football, and great real life stories, and this movie was a great combination of those things. It was so great to be home, and I can't wait to go back very very soon!!

Another great thing that happened right before Thanksgiving break happened while I was playing in my indoor soccer league. This summer I really got into soccer, and I have been really impressed with my soccer skills. So impressed that somehow my cousin Chad talked me into joining his indoor team, even though I never have played indoor soccer before. Let me first say that we did not win ONE game. The last game of our little season, I was chasing after the ball, and some queer from the other team was behind me. Our feet got tangled together and I fell forward and he fell on top of me, and ended up sitting on the back of my head, very forcibly smashing my face into the ground. You need to understand that the ground we play on doesn't have any give like grass does, in fact its basically concrete covered with very very thin carpet. Needless to say, it did not feel good getting my face squished. I thought I would be fine. Let me sit down for a while and I'll be back. Nope. Wrong. I didn't feel better very quickly. I can handle headaches, I've had migraines my whole life, but this time I just felt like I couldn't relax. We eventually headed back to my grandma's house. I wasn't driving, and honestly I don't really remember much about what happened that night. I guess as we approached my grandma's house, I sat up in the back seat, and Kalicia asked if I was ok, and if I needed to throw up. I said no, and as we pulled up to my grandma's house, I puked in the backseat of my own car. Amazing I know. I opened the door and fell out of my car onto the cold, frosty grass, dripping in my own barf. Somehow I took off my shirt and shorts, leaving me just in my Rainbow Hot Pants (a pair of colorful spandex). My grandma thought it was a joke when we burst into her house. I was in bad shape, and since I threw up, they wanted to take me to the hospital. I so didn't want to go, I just wanted to relax, and the only way I let them take me was because I figured the stupid hospital would do something about my headache. Just in case you didn't know, if you have a head injury, the hospital will do nothing for you. They did nothing for me, short of letting me sit in a bed, waiting for two hours for them to scan my head, tell me I'm fine, and send me away with two pills that didn't help me at all. Thank you hospital. Thank you for nothing. I feel much better now, and after that night I suffered only slight headaches and a slightly swollen face for a few days. It has not scared me away from soccer completely.

Swollen face from soccer.

This week is finals week. Today I took two finals, Chem 106 and my student development class. I felt pretty good about both of them. My chemistry class has been pretty tough this semester, and I think my professor has finally realized that he may have made the class a little tougher than it needed to be, as most of the exams have had a average in the 50's. I felt much better about this final and hopefully it will turn out well. I only have my Physiology final and my New Testament final left. Both are proving to be much harder to prepare for than I originally thought. I hope to be done by Thursday morning. Then Saturday I get to go home!!! And I am soooooo stoked!!! Then Christmas, and that will be awesome too! I can't wait to be home with my family. We can go shooting, and sledding. It's gonna be sweet.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Eulogy for Riley Scott Christensen

Here is the eulogy I wrote about myself a few weeks ago. Sorry it has taken so long to get it up. Enjoy!

My dad was never a very big person, at least not in stature. But that never stopped him from living a big life. When he was as senior in high school, my dad was 5’5” and a 125 pounds, but still played on the varsity football team. His dad always told him to “Live Big”. My dad lived by the saying, “Go big or go home.” Dad lived a big life.

Dad lived big in his business endeavors. He always dreamed of being successful, and he was. In college dad graduated top of his class at BYU and then attended the University of Washington Dental School. He then graduated from Ohio State’s Orthodontic program. Dad moved back to Washington State to begin his long career as an orthodontist at the top of his field. Dad was an innovator, and a leader in his work. He created many advancements to make orthodontics easier and more efficient, as well as less expensive. He was known throughout the country as the developer of the Scotts device. Dad and his brother went into business together later in their lives to develop and manage a new resort at the Gorge, a popular outdoor amphitheater where many popular bands play, in the town of George Washington. The Hacé Resort is still very popular and thriving. Dad lived big in his everyday business adventures.

Dad loved helping people and couldn’t get enough of it, so it was no surprise when he created an outreach program in his small hometown of Royal City, Washington to give dental care to those who can’t afford it. Dad’s “Don’t Stop Smiling” program is continued on today. Dad was also involved in many humanitarian projects all over the world to give dental care to those who need it. Dad will be remembered for his big heart.

Dad had a big family. He is survived by over 100 members of immediate family, including his 10 kids, nearly 50 grandkids, and an increasing number of great-grandchildren. He had a lot of love for us, and always did anything he could to make sure we were taken care of.

Dad had a big appetite for adventure. It seems that he has done everything. Dad has traveled the world. He has been involved in many humanitarian projects all over the world, helping people he didn’t know. Dad had his pilot’s license, loved deep-sea fishing, and was even in a band, “Tooth-Hurty” with his good friends. He had a big desire for all things that were exciting.

The gospel played a big role in dad’s life. He knew the importance of the gospel and loved to serve. Dad was a leader in the gospel his whole life. He served as a bishop, and a member of a stake presidency, a mission president, and a temple president. Dad would never be the first to tell you about the things he has done, and has remained a humble servant of the Lord his entire life.

Dad lived a big life. He played big, and now its time for him to go home. He is going home to be with his biggest fan. He is leaving behind a big legacy. He will be remembered for his big heart, and big adventures. I know that dad would want us continuing to celebrate his big life.

Eulogy

It has been quite a little while since I have posted. It's kinda hard to know what to blog about sometimes. So much going on, and I want to only blog about the best things, but I feel it's all pretty good, so I don't know which to write about, and which to leave out. I have decided that everything I blog about doesn't need to be awesome, and it's ok to leave some awesome out. So here is a little taste of awesome for ya.

This semester I'm taking a public speaking class. It is probably the most awesome class I have ever taken. All of my other classes I feel are useful, but only in specific instances. This public speaking class is teaching me how to be a better communicator to the world around me, and I feel like I can use what I'm learning in my everyday life, not just certain times here and there. I love it.

This week our assignment was to write our own eulogy. At first I was confused and thought it would be so stupid to try and write about my own life like I had just died. It ended up being an awesome experience. I learned so much about myself. It was supposed to be designed to end up being completely made up because it's all things that have happened later in my life, which haven't happened yet. I thought it would easy, but it ended up being really hard to decide what dreams I had that I wanted to come true. After I had written it, I decided the things I wrote about dealing with my pretend life, actually turned out to be things I really want to accomplish. These things are actually things I would love to happen. I wrote about becoming an Orthodontist, having a charity program, traveling the world, have a family, owning a business with my brother, being in a band, loving deep-sea fishing, having my pilot's license, and serving in many ways for the church. I would love all these things to happen! It was such an eye opening experience. I also learned so much from listening to other people's eulogies, and I found myself examining my life and whether my priorities were where they needed to be. I would recommend this activity to anyone. Do it! Changed my life.